I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we're making bets on your personal life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize