Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
