How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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