After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
