I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
