Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Someone signed my nipple.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
