he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
