i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
