I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize