it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
