Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
