I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
