i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
