Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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