I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
