You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
