Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
