I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
