addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
