How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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