when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
