is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
