wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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