Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
