can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize