Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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