So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
