if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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