is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
