i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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