Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
