So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
