i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
