Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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