So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
