weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize