i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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