when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
