Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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