Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
