so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
