We won't sleep together?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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