i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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