hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
