You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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