a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize