he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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