The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
