just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
