im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
