She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
