Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
