He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
