Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize