So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
