You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize